One thing I have learned about myself doing this Accounting for Managers course is that I absolutely hate having to write from a pure "upper management" point of view to the point where my options are just "procrastinate indefinitely" or "write it as if I run some kind of employee-owned co-op" and so I'm opting for the latter most of the time.

The rest of this is just a thought dump, feel free to ignore.

Somewhere yesterday I realized that I've been tearing down all of my systems and guardrails instead of what I usually try to do, which is changing them one at a time or, ideally, not changing them at all.

My household routines are off and honestly have been since before my nibling got here. Laundry's just. Not moving. I can't seem to make any progress on packing. Nothing's getting out of the house. I've complained about this before, it's boring.

I got a new pair of jeans with a slightly smaller pocket so I decided to try a slightly smaller notebook and all hell has broken loose since then on the notebook front. I've tried and bounced hard off of two, I'm still sort of using a third but not very well, I've got a journal that's too large to be an EDC living next to my bed except when it isn't, and I bought the absolutely gorgeous PaperblanksxFourth Wing notebook and it's in this size they call "midi" which is like... 5x7? It's bigger than my jeans pockets but it's fall now and I'm wearing my jacket a lot and it has no problem fitting in my jacket pocket and I'm trying SO FUCKING HARD not to move into it just because it's SHINY NEW but at the same time it's like... distracting thinking about it so maybe I should just fucking do it, you know? If I like it, then I can try a paperblanks planner for next year in the Midi size too. And if I don't I'll just go back to the one that works.

Please somebody tell me this isn't worth the amount of overthinking I'm doing.

I had somebody suggest making a list of values in a way that hit me like a ton of bricks, where normally that would sound twee as hell. Because it occurred to me that I'm actually always looking for a single word or phrase that unites everything I care about and that's just... pretty much impossible. But if I make a list then I don't have to just pick one. (lolsob why does "you can be more than one thing" feel like a big deal)

Other things I've torn apart and now cannot commit to: - backups (I don't want to depend on google drive. Currently waffling between a nextcloud instance and protondrive.) - email providers (Currently waffling between fastmail and protondrive.) - digital notes/references/bookmarks (kind of half moved into Obsidian, tried xtiles but never settled into it, playing with moving back into Notion, there are some things Notion just makes really easy.) - website (one of the things Notion could make really easy is some variants on website maintenance. not all of them but... definitely some. currently have some sites on a regular ftp host, some still on nearlyfreespeech, and some still running on fastmail's web server option. not keeping up with anything. augh etc.)

Also other stuff I'm forgetting, I'm sure.